Trees in Fog, Corral De Tierra @

What do I really want?

Please don't take anything here personally, but pretend some openness, if you like.

This website is not intended as a snack for your mind;

it is really good stuff, if we make it our own, without eagerness nor laziness.

Being clear about words can be super helpful in embracing the paradox that what we really want is not what the thinking mind mediates as reality. (Kudos to Roger Castillo for so many helpful insights:)

Pleasure and pain are circumstantial

Content in the flow of life; outside of my control.

Suffering is attitudinal

Suffering is a narrative added to the pleasure or pain of this moment.

Suffering can completely drop away by understanding its me-chanism.

Personal doership

The root of suffering is the sense of personal doership.

Welcome to this free and private website.
Welcome to this playful, but sincere invitation to explore a core issue we are all entangled in -- the root of man's quiet desperation, exploitation and inhumanity.

With deep gratitude to Magdi Badawy, Roger Castillo, Rupert Spira, Mooji, Eckhart Tolle, Jiddu Krishnamurti, Joel Goldsmith and many other beings who help me to investigate my own humanity; without any claim to fame, but encouraging you to prove me wrong: a win-win while our bodies are still warm.

After 50+ years of "me" I could call myself an expert in suffering; materially having much more than probably most people on this planet, yet, until recently, lost in faulty thinking and unaware of the mechanism of my own identity and consequential suffering:

My happiness is not to be found in circumstance

Happiness is available regardless of pleasure or pain.

Happiness is not depending on outcome.

What is happiness?

Peace of mind in daily living, independent of circumstances

Simply the absence of suffering

Neither sexy nor exciting

Our effortless nature

What is pleasure and pain?

Biological preferences according to our genes and up-to-date conditioning:




What is Suffering?

Psychological & muscle-memory "me" identity

Faulty thinking

worry, anxiety

blame, shame, guilt, pride

expectation, attachment to outcome

Practical Benchmark!

"Unbroken peace of mind in daily living, independent of circumstance".

Not as an expectation or goal, but as an intimate meter to recalibrate attention back into its natural state.

Isn't it amazing how thinking can be our seemingly greatest enemy or our most powerful ally.

Why do I want what I want?
What do I really, really want?

Truth is an activity in our own consciousness. We are the operant power.

Can we embrace the gift of being aware and forgiving towards our own faulty thinking, in an atmosphere of effortless inner trust and rest?

All of this as an invitation into the unknown; not as a new belief or hope, but as a pointer to our own unique living discovery, here and now; walking the talk.

And how humiliating -- in a healthy sense -- when we see that this peace and clarity was and is always available.

Holger @